They’re, I said it.

If the title bothers you in the slightest, thank you. As a manboy of the 21st century I spend what some may consider an inordinate mount of time on the internet, and I see a constant stream of poor grammar. Granted I am no expert on the subject; I’m sure everyone could poke through my few posts and find plenty of grammar faux pas (maybe that semi-colon? I’m tired). Regardless, there are a few golden rules I find see constantly that need to be stymied or I fear I may lose my mind.

I’m really not sure if the massive community of internet users just never graduated from elementary school or are they just that intellectually lethargic they just don’t give a damn which version they use. Ill assume that, for the sake of my sanity, the internet mob as a whole had a terrible 2nd grade English teacher. If you are well aware of the difference between these words, skip to the bottom of the post for some conversational drivel. If you have any hesitation feel free to read my brief explanation between the three words- no reason not to, you ‘re already here wasting time on my shitty site, right?

Rule: Their/They’re/There – Pretty simple stuff here that is unfortunately abused most often.

Their- possessive.  Some ‘thing’ owns something. Ex. “Hey is that the Delta Iota Kappa frat house? Check out at their crushed natty ice and used condom pyramid!”

They’re- contraction of They and are (they are). Ex. “Yeah I saw that pyramid last month, they’re a bunch of jackasses,   they wouldn’t let me climb it.

There- directorial, or other. Point to something, decribe where it is, it is ‘there’. Ex. “I once went there for a party. I left with a hangover and a doctors appointment for penicillin.”

There are of course more examples I could go through- that an high school graduate should hopefully already know. Generally, I think everyone does know these few basic grammar rules, but is incapable expressing it. Why would the internet nearly as a whole be unable to determine which word or form of a word? The cranky old man inside my mind tells me that it’s because this generation is lazy, and technology has ruined the motivations of an entire generation, or more.

Could this be the case? Could the opulence of information technology made myself and my internet compatriots lazier? I recently read (I’ll post a link when I find it) that my generation is graduating college and marrying later in life- graduation lagging an additional 2 years behind the old standard and first time marriages are occurring closer to 30 than 20 now.  This idea certainly has some merit possibly, but do these late milestones mean progression have been hindered by laziness? Perhaps, or could it be correlation without causation. My belief is that there is a shrinking middle class, and a drop in blue collar jobs- both of which lead to more students who are not only students, but employees. It is a compromise for a’students’ education, employment, and life goals(marriage, house, etc).

Am I being too grandiose,  finding a convoluted reason for a grammar mistake? Or is the world slowly coming to a crash thanks to the conveniences of the machine I am currently using. Perhaps time, or you,  can tell me.  I’ll end this post with a lolcat, perhaps the definition of the perceived laziness of the internet for your enjoyment.

Yep. This is the internet.